I took my examples from the New York Times.
KABUL, Afghanistan — An airstrike launched by United States Special Forces helicopters on Sunday against what international troops believed to be a group of insurgents ended up killing as many as 27 civilians in the worst such case since at least September, Afghan officials said Monday.
MARJA, Afghanistan — Since the American-led offensive into the last large Talibanenclave in Helmand Province began nine days ago, local Afghans have faced a dangerous and uncertain world.
Just push yourself away from the television. You will burn more calories.
Lead I didn’t like:
VANCOUVER, British Columbia — For sheer spectacle, the Olympics offer the opening ceremony, the closing ceremony and dozens of medal ceremonies in between. For sheer awkwardness, they offer the kiss-and-cry area.
I didn’t like this lead because it served no purpose. I get that the author is trying to be witty but from this lead you don’t know what the story is going to be about. You don’t know if she’s going to talk about the opening ceremony, the closing ceremony, the dozens of medal ceremonies or the kiss-and-cry area.
Also this sounds silly but I don’t like that the author used the word “sheer” twice within the first two sentences. I don’t know she did it on purpose or was just to lazy to find another word to fit the purpose-either way I wasn’t a fan.
Good job. That isn’t an anecdotal lead though — it doesn’t put us into a specific scene. It’s kind of a vague nothing of a lead, in fact. 4/5.