nikkicomm303blog

1. I definitely have struggled all semester with commas. I think I have gotten better through out the semester and have a better understanding of the rules, but I forget them sometimes or am confused about when I am supposed to use them, even when I look through the AP stylebook.

Example: Quiz #11 question 5:

After listening to the song, Erica’s headphones stopped working.

I revised it incorrectly:

Erica’s headphones stopped working, after she listened to the song.

2. Hyphens are always a problem for me as well.

Example: Quiz #6 question 5:

goal-line stand

not

goal-line-stand, which is what I wrote.

3. Passive and active voice. I’ve read through Stovall several times on this issue, and it basically states to avoid words such as “is” or “was”.  I understand there’s more to it than just avoiding those words, so I do that (avoid past tense helping verbs) and try to make my sentences more direct but I am still getting comments on my papers from you saying my sentences are passive. 

Example: Quiz 16

“The streets were filled with cyclists.”  Even looking at the sentence now, I’m not sure how to make that active.

Maybe,

“Cyclists riding on the street.” or “Cyclists filled the street.”

Five blogs dedicated to doughnuts:

I thought this site might find my press release interesting considering the blogger admitted they hadn’t updated their blog in forever. It’s a blog about doughnut shops making sandwiches out of their doughnuts.

This blog is a review bashing Dunkin Donuts and I thought the blogger might want to take a look at Holesome Donuts and review their doughnuts.

This blogger dedicated her blog to doughnut shops around the nation and also mentioned that she wanted to eat as many doughnuts as she could, at as many different donut shops across the United States. She also writes that anyone with information about good doughnuts should contact her, so I think this blog would also be a good target for my press release.

This post is about a girl going to a different doughnut shop every week for one year. I Thought she would be interested to visit Holesome Donut in her quest to find the perfect doughnut. 

This final blog post is a blogger writing about saving the doughnut industry in general. He writes that because of the no carb craze, certain people working in the sugar industry are losing their jobs. I believe he was really trying to mock the no carb trend and get people to laugh all the way to Krispy Kreme , but I thought he might get a kick out of a doughnut shop thriving and wanting to open more stores around the Sun Belt.

I listened to a story on my computer. It was a story on National Public Radio from Wednesday night and it talked about the coal mine explosion in West Virginia. The main difference I noticed from the beginning is that there were numerous sound bites. 

The story had a sound bite from a man who worked for Federal Mine Safety and another one from a reporter who was on the scene.  I believe the sound bite with the man working for Federal Mine Safety is called an actuality story. And the part where they had the reporter on the scene was a voicer. The audio in both cases were only about 10 seconds long but gave the story more description than what the news announcer gave.

I also noticed the sentences that the announcer said were shorter and more direct. The announcer actually didn’t say too much, she set up the story and then had sound bites to describe what was going on. I think if I were to put it in terms of a written story, the announcer said the lead and second paragraph and the sound bites did the rest of the story.

I found this web page on NatGeo News Watch. It’s a story about the spread of head lice to body lice. Although I found the topic of the story to be quite skin crawling, I thought the writer did a really good job incorporating different types of lateral journalism into the story to make it more interesting and detailed.

There are multiple links within the story, but one that I found of the most interest was a journal article from Plos Neglected Tropical Diseases. Here the  reader can get more information on lice, but also has the option to read about other diseases and infections.

This article was very informative and organized in a way that was easy to read. It talked about the origins of body lice, what environments they thrive in and how one gets lice. It also included blown up pictures of a body and head louse and even a diagram of the life cycle of a head louse.  

 There were also links to the most visited stories, which I really enjoyed because I probably would not have seen these stories had they not been on the side of the screen.  I clicked on a story about the devil (in the spirit of Easter? I dunno) and read about an ancient book believed to be written by one monk, in one night, under the guidance of the devil. It was weird, but also a good example of a web package with pictures and video clips.

At the end of the original article, there was a comment box that gave readers the chance to say something about the article. There weren’t any comments when I read the story, but I suppose there’s not a whole lot to say about head lice.

I chose a story from the New York Times. I liked it because, the beginning and the end felt like a feature story, but the middle felt more like a news story.

The article begins with several stories about men who suffered from heart attacks. It goes further to state, that friends and families of the men, believe it may be because they had recently lost their jobs. Then the author talks of studies about direct and indirect effects of stress.  At the end of the article he brings it back to the plants closing and the statistics of people who worked there suffering from heart complications.

I liked the technique the author used. It was informative with data and statistical facts but it didn’t feel overwhelming or hard to read. I appreciated the fact that the writer included studies that were being conducted. It sort of validated conclusions made by the victims families and friends. He blended an appropriate amount of facts and descriptions that made it interesting for me to read.

On Sunday morning, three students were admitted to the local hospital for alcohol poisoning.

Press Martin, junior in engineering and Rob Smith, sophomore in business, were released Monday morning. Al Amelak, freshman majoring in liberal arts, is in critical condition, according to a university representative.

The initial investigation indicates they were at the ABZ fraternity house. The fraternity and its activities have been suspended indefinitely, according to a statement given by the university.

Two weeks prior to the incident, university President Bart Addison, released a statement banning alcohol from fraternity houses. Those found with alcohol, he said will be suspended. A second offense within a year will result in a five year banning of the fraternity.

Bart Addison, Interfraternity Council president, stated “…I do not believe that the entire fraternity should be held responsible for the actions of a few. I am going to ask President Smithville to reconsider his suspension of the ABZs.”

With the recent deaths of a student at LSU and one at MIT due to alcohol poisoning, this comes at a time when concern for drinking at college parties is high.

The university is considering increasing its police patrols of fraternity houses on the weekends.

I took my examples from the New York Times.

Straight lead:

KABUL, Afghanistan — An airstrike launched by United States Special Forces helicopters on Sunday against what international troops believed to be a group of insurgents ended up killing as many as 27 civilians in the worst such case since at least September, Afghan officials said Monday.

Anecdotal lead:

 MARJA, Afghanistan — Since the American-led offensive into the last large Talibanenclave in Helmand Province began nine days ago, local Afghans have faced a dangerous and uncertain world.

Direct address:

 Just push yourself away from the television. You will burn more calories.

Lead I didn’t like:

VANCOUVER, British Columbia — For sheer spectacle, the Olympics offer the opening ceremony, the closing ceremony and dozens of medal ceremonies in between. For sheer awkwardness, they offer the kiss-and-cry area.

I didn’t like this lead because it served no purpose. I get that the author is trying to be witty but from this lead you don’t know what the story is going to be about. You don’t know if she’s going to talk about the opening ceremony, the closing ceremony, the dozens of medal ceremonies or the kiss-and-cry area.

Also this sounds silly but I don’t like that the author used the word “sheer” twice within the first two sentences. I don’t know she did it on purpose or was just to lazy to find another word to fit the purpose-either way I wasn’t a fan.

A suit for 100,000 dollars was filed today by Ellie Maston against Amburn’s Produce Market, charging the market with negligence on an incident that happened earlier this year.

The suit claims on April 1, Maston, of 313 Journey Road, walked through green beans left on the floor of the market causing her to slip and break her hip.

The suit says she, “suffered permanent bodily and mental injuries, incurred medical expenses and lost income.”

I have always been a fan of National Geographic.  Reading the magazine as a child, like so many pther people, transported me to a world that was fascinating and unique to the world I experienced. 

The article I chose for this week was a feature done about Wolves. I haven’t read everything there is to read about the re-introduction of wolves but from what I gather it’s an ongoing process and an ongoing story with National Geographic.

 Recently, due to the dwindling population, wolves have been repopulated in Yellowstone Park. For some animal enthusiast this is a great thing but for others who also visit Yellowstone they no longer feel safe bringing their families into the park.  Apparently there are also issues with the wolves killing nearby livestock in places like Wyoming and Montana. For some farmers and ranchers their lively hood comes from their cattle and are not happy about having to share them with a wolf pack.

This article is a long one, explaining the pros and cons of repopulating wolves into the wild. I liked it mainly because of the first couple of sentences where it compares wolves to people. I think the writer was trying to pull us into the story but also trying to appeal to the reader with out being too bias by making wolves more relatable.

I also enjoyed the full coverage this article gave the reader. It talked about the history of wolves, the issues with repopulating them and whether it’s plausible that  not only people but other animals cancoexist with the wolves. It talked extensively about all issues and angles so the readers could decide for themselves what should be done.